January 10

Twenty-two joined us to welcome the Restorative Justice team to facilitate explorations of our difficult conversations in a safe and productive space. This is the first of a series of such Restorative Justice/ASK Salt Spring conversations scheduled for the second Friday of each month, 11-1, in the SIMS classroom. Leading our conversation this week was Laura Dafoe. She was joined by two new and enthusiastic Restorative Justice volunteers, Emma and Fig. Sadly missing was program coordinator Jessica Terezakis who is supporting her family in a recent health challenge. 

While many of us know about the meaningful work done by our local Restorative Justice team, you may want to check out their website (https://www.rjssi.org/) as well as the ASK Salt Spring report about their recent time with us: https://asksaltspring.com/2024/05/31/a-better-way-to-address-conflict-what-about-restorative-justice/. 

Laura also suggested we read Peter Block’s book, The Abundant Community, (https://www.abundantcommunity.com/the-book/), offering the following questions:

• Invitation to Connection: What can we do to create a stronger sense of belonging within our community?
• Engagement: How can each of us contribute to the common good in ways that feel meaningful?
• Accountability: What commitments can we make to one another to address the challenges we face as a community?
• Shared Ownership: What steps can we take to ensure everyone feels they have a stake in our community’s success?
• Inclusivity: How do we create spaces where all voices are valued and heard?
• Possibility Thinking What new possibilities can we envision together to strengthen our relationships and shared purpose?

The hope for this time together was to build the foundation for safe conversations about some of our most complex and challenging issues, also identifying those conversations for our monthly gatherings beginning Friday, February 14. In addition to exploring complicated issues, it is hoped that participants will develop restorative dialogue shills they can use in their homes, workplaces, families, and communities. Understanding that these potentially emotional and even heated conversations are new territory for many of us, Laura asked us to trust the process – it works!

To begin, Laura read an Ernest Hemingway quote which reminded us that, too often, we do not fully listen to others’ concerns; instead, we think about what we will say. She asked us to consciously work on being present in conversation, reminding us that leading with our hearts and instincts helps our heads to connect and understand. We learned that our ability to listen and understand our emotions helps us to be comfortable and flexible while connecting with others in our community.

Laura’s Territorial Acknowledgment reminded us that Restorative Justice practices are based on Indigenous circle-based practices throughout the world. We then learned about the five basic agreements that create the foundation for safe, respectful conversations:

1. Honour each individual’s opportunity to speak when holding the talking piece.
2. Speak and listen with respect.
3. Speak and listen from the heart.
4. Take the time you need while also being mindful of the need for others to have time.
5. Honor confidentiality; Share the learning not the details nor personal information. 

After asking each of us to speak briefly about our most important basic needs, like community, connection, understanding, integrity, and accountability, we broke into small groups to identify those Salt Spring conversations we would like to explore in subsequent gatherings. 

While over 20 important conversations were identified, the following list attempts to capture the many conversations that those participating in this gathering considered most important:

• How can Restorative Justice take a more active role in our community, enhancing our processes of communication, identifying and redressing wrongs, weaving inclusion into all conversations, and addressing the rumours, polarization, and damage caused by unfounded and hurtful comments, especially those so prevalent on social media. Capturing this sentiment, it was agreed that, rather than our seeming pride in being “an island surrounded by controversy,” we are also an island of respectful, caring communicators who see great possibilities.
• Other suggestions included reconciliation with those harmed by actions (or lack of action) regarding Indigenous people, Japanese people during and after World War II, those who have less, those who are unhoused, and those who face accessibility challenges. 
• The uneasy balance between environmental concerns and basic needs such as housing was a topic selected by many groups. These climate concerns could also include environmentally challenging options to save areas threatened by our climate crisis.
• Another popular topic was the lessons learned from our years of COVID-imposed isolation.
• Governance was selected as a topic by some groups, exploring both local governance as well as building the coping skills needed to address the provincial, federal, and international challenges expected in the next few years.

With this long list of worthy, but potentially divisive conversations, the Restorative Justice team has plenty of options for the first conversation of this series, Friday, February 14, 11-1, in the SIMS classroom. Interested? Watch for the identification of this first conversation in early February at asksaltspring.com as well as on February 12 in both the Driftwood’s What’s On and Salt Spring Exchange’s Events.

As our time together for this week was drawing to a close, we were each asked to briefly identify what gifts we thought we could bring to these conversations. Answers included: 

• Caring;
• Listening with one’s heart;
• Looking beyond judgment with understanding, curiosity, and community connection;
• Integrity;
• Creativity;
• Safety;
• Fun, Humour, Passion, Energy, and
• Simply showing up for each conversation. 

We concluded our time together by applauding Laura and her team and promising to come back for our next conversation on Friday, February 14, also inviting others to join us. We left pondering what it would look like if we had an island community fueled by generosity, respect, and understanding – and how we can work together to make that happen. We left committed to be what Peter Block called “a community of possibilities, not problems.” (Thank you, Laura and the Restorative Justice team!) 

.

Want to learn more? Laura was interviewed by CHiR.fm‘s Damian Inwood after our ASK Salt Spring gathering. Listen to this interview as well as many more at ASK Salt Spring Answered (https://open.spotify.com/show/14aIItcouBw3unc5ZtgPDL).  

Just in case you are interested. . . .This report has been written by Gayle Baker, founder of ASK Salt Spring, currently also a Salt Spring Local Community Commissioner. This report has also been edited by this week’s special guest, Laura and her team.